For the last couple of editions of Talking Points, I've been keeping track of just how terrible United's start to the season is - only one team has ever had fewer points after this many games. For weeks, I've assumed that the turning point is just around the corner, but every Saturday they lose again. Eight points adrift at the bottom, they are undoubtedly relegation candidates.
And now I've said that, they'll probably win in Inverness on Saturday. Gah.
But how does this Dundee United team compare to some of the worst in recent history? Well, here's a summary of the four worst sides in Scotland's top flight since we went to three points for a win...and a few others who had dreadful starts to the season but somehow dragged themselves out of the mire. Who would have thought that United could have a worse team than one with Jamie Buchan in it?
The Hall of Shame
5th - 2003-04 Partick Thistle
Won 6, drew 8, lost 24, scored 39, conceded 67, 26pts. Relegated with 4 games left
Management duo Gerry Britton and Derek Whyte didn't come close to keeping Thistle up |
It started in the dugout with John Lambie's retirement in the summer of 2003. His long-time assistant Gerry Collins succeeded him...lasting 13 weeks in which they won no games, picked up only two points out of forty-two, and got knocked out of the League Cup by Peterhead. His replacements, playing duo Derek Whyte and Gerry Britton couldn't do much worse, though they did try. Fourteen points adrift by February, the biggest surprise is that relegation wasn't confirmed until after the split.
To be fair, they were financially hamstrung at the time - even losing Stephen Craigen to Motherwell because they could pay higher wages (despite being in administration!) The playing squad? Aside from James Grady, who scored a spirited 15 goals, to be honest the only ones I've heard of are the ones whose careers were already winding down by this point. Who on earth was Jean-Yves Anis? He started more than half their league games!
Most used XI: Kenny Arthur, Jean-Yves Anis, Adrian Madaschi, Kenny Milne, Grant Murray, Derek Fleming, Jamie Mitchell, David Rowson, John-Paul McBride, Gerry Britton, James Grady
4th - 2011-12 Dunfermline Athletic
Won 5, drew 10, lost 23, scored 40, conceded 82, 25pts. Relegated with 1 game left
Jim Jefferies didn't have a clue how to keep Dunfermline up either |
Jim McIntyre didn't have a chance with this bunch; Jim Jefferies, who replaced him late in the season, didn't either. Only Gallacher, loanee Jordan McMillan and Joe Cardle got another shot at SPL football. And it's only got worse since; administration followed within a year, and last season they were closer to the bottom of League One than the top. Only now under Allan Johnston have things turned around at East End Park.
Most used XI: Paul Gallacher, Patrick Boyle, Andy Dowie, Alex Keddie, Austin McCann, Paul Burns, Martin Hardie, Gary Mason, Joe Cardle, David Graham, Andy Kirk
3rd - 2007-08 Gretna
Won 5, drew 8, lost 25, scored 32, conceded 83, 13pts (10pt deduction for entering administration). Relegated with 7 games left
Gretna's fairytale ended not just with relegation, but liquidation |
The lack of reinforcements (apart from the exotic Fabian Yantorno) raised alarm bells. So did the embarassment of Alexander turning up to try and sit in the dugout for their opening match...which had to be played at Fir Park because the club's ground wasn't up to scratch. It soon became clear that Mileson had run out of money; there was huge squad turnover as the high earners who had taken them up the league were discarded in favour of cheap foreigners, English non-leaguers and loanees. Remarkably, the 37 players used during the season included Kyle Naughton (now at Swansea) and Aurelien Collin, who has established himself in MLS.
The midden hit the windmill when the money ran out in February. Irons left, with Mick Wadsworth guiding the team to the end of the season. The club went into administration in March, making 22 players redundant. Even if they hadn't got a ten point deduction they'd have gone down...and they'd have gone bust. They did manage to fulfil their fixtures - and beat Hearts in the last one - and were liquidated that summer with debts of £5million.
Most used XI: Greg Fleming, Kyle Naughton, Aurelien Collin, Chris Innes, Craig Barr, Allan Jenkins, Nicky Deverdics, Gavin Skelton, Paul Murray, Fabian Yantorno, Kenny Deuchar
2nd - 2001-02 St. Johnstone
Won 5, drew 6, lost 27, scored 24, conceded 62, 21pts. Relegated with 4 games left
Tommy Lovenkrands was Peter's older, more rubbish brother |
Whilst the defence was hardly reliable, it was up front that the Perth Saints struggled most. Paul Hartley (before he was good) was top scorer in the league with just four goals. The strikers - including veterans Willie Falconer, Paddy Connolly and Darren Jackson as well as wonderboy-that-never-was Keigan Parker and Peter Lovenkrands' much crappier older brother Tommy - couldn't hit a cow's backside with a banjo.
They failed to score in half their league games, and their record of 24 goals for the whole season was an SPL record until it was broken by the same team eight years later. That one was made of stronger stuff - after years of Stark (and one nightmare campaign under John Connolly), St Johnstone rebuilt under Owen Coyle and Derek McInnes and finally returned to the top flight in 2008.
Most used XI: Alan Miller, Mark Lynch, Nick Dasovic, Grant Murray, Darren Dods, Stuart McCluskey, Paul Kane, Paul Hartley, Tommy Lovenkrands, Paddy Connolly, Willie Falconer
1st - 2005-06 Livingston
Won 4, drew 6, lost 28, scored 25. conceded 79, 18pts. Relegated with 2 games left
Paul Lambert did rather better after leaving Livingston than the club did |
Livi's collapse was almost as quick as their rise through the leagues; the 2004 League Cup winners went into administration a month before that triumph. In 2004-05 they survived only on the final day of the season, under the leadership of Richard Gough (and with the iffy signing of Hassan Kachloul). With neither sticking around, Paul Lambert took on the challenge in his first managerial post; he did so badly - two wins in twenty-six games!!! - that it's amazing to think that he went on to manage in the English Premier League. His Waterloo was a 7-0 thumping at Easter Road. Ouch.
John Robertson replaced Lambert in February but lost his first six games (Lambert had lost his last six) and the game was up shortly after the split. Livi took just six points from their last nineteen games and managed only four league wins all season. If you ignore Gretna's points deduction, they are, in terms of points scored, the worst team in SPL history.
As stated above, it didn't do Lambert any long term harm. The squad that season also included Wes Hoolahan, Graham Dorrans and Robert Snodgrass, all of whom have gone on to play in England's top flight and earn international caps.
Most used XI: Roddy MacKenzie, Dave Mackay, Harald Pinxten, Greg Strong, Jason Dair, Richard Brittain, Paul Tierney, Allan Walker, Derek Adams, Wes Hoolahan, Paul Dalglish
And the teams who turned it around...
2000-01 Dundee United
5pts after 18 games, finished eleventh with 35pts
So what do you think Jim McLean did next? |
Theirs is the worst start to a season in the SPL era...yet this United team, with bastions such as Jamie Buchan, Hasney Aljofree and Jim Lauchlan, avoided the drop despite winning just once in the league before the turn of the year. They won their last four games, which was just as well as St. Mirren, who were relegated at their expense, finished with 11 points from their last five matches.
Most used XI: Alan Combe, Hasney Aljofree, Jason De Vos, Jim Lauchlan, Danny Griffin, Jamie Buchan, David Hannah, Craig Easton, Charlie Miller, Derek Lilley, Stephen Thompson
2005-06 Dunfermline
9pts from 18 games, finished eleventh with 33pts
Getting peppered with shots at East End Park for a year did a young Allan McGregor no harm at all |
Having only avoided the drop the previous year thanks to a rescue act from Jim Leishman, the Pars discovered that their own stalwart wasn't much good over the course of a whole season; they were saved by Livingston's extraordinary ineptitude and were actually fifteen points above the Lions by the end of the season. That's not to say they were any good, though they did reach the League Cup final where they lost 3-0 to Celtic. That was the campaign's highlight; the nadir was getting pumped by the same team 8-1 on their own ground in the league.
Incidentally, this was the most successful season of Mark Burchill's career, as he scored fifteen goals. And the goalkeeper was one Allan McGregor, on loan for the campaign from Rangers. It was third time unlucky the next season, as the Pars were relegated.
Most used XI: Allan McGregor, Greg Shields, Andy Tod, Scott Wilson, Greg Ross, Scott Thomson, Lee Makel, Gary Mason, Darren Young, Mark Burchill, Noel Hunt
2014-15 Ross County
10pts from 18 games, finished ninth with 44pts
The emergence of Liam Boyce as a lethal striker helped County avoid the drop |
Most used XI: Mark Brown, Marcus Fraser, Paul Quinn, Scott Boyd, Jamie Reckord, Michael Gardyne, Jackson Irvine, Martin Woods, Filip Kiss, Liam Boyce, Craig Curran
1999-00 Aberdeen
12pts from 18 games, finished tenth (out of ten!) with 33pts
Hicham Zerouali was a rare bright spot in Aberdeen's season |
So Skovdahl was able to concentrate on rebuilding the squad and on the cup competitions - they reached the League Cup final (losing to Celtic) and the Scottish Cup final (losing to Rangers after Robbie Winters had to go in goal for 87 minutes!). And with Stavrum, Zerouali and Skovdahl establishing themselves as cult heroes, Dons fans tend to look back on this season with surprising fondness.
Most used XI: Jim Leighton, Thomas Solberg, Russell Anderson, Jamie McAllister, Andreas Mayer, Paul Bernard, Cato Guntveit, Robbie Winters, Andy Dow, Eoin Jess, Arild Stavrum
Lawrie Spence (LS) has ranted and spouted his ill-informed opinions on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.
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