2024/25 Scottish Premiership preview

 A friend and I were reminiscing about the good old days the other evening and discussing how old we were when we first got into football. For me, it was the 1990/91 season, as Scotland embarked on their successful Euro 92 qualifying campaign and Aberdeen failed to get the point they needed at Ibrox on the final day to win the title (to this day, an Aberdeen-supporting mate practically spits on the ground at the mention of Michael Watt).

That was more than 33 years ago and in that time no-one else has come as close to breaking the duopoly. And it's as hard ever to see when someone will. CELTIC and RANGERS will come first and second again this season, and the question is in which order.

The answer, of course, is that Celtic will be ahead. They were far from infallible last season but were still far stronger both in quality on the pitch and in mentality than their rivals. They've managed to replace retiring keeper Joe Hart with a useful stopgap in Kasper Schmeichel and otherwise have kept the band together. They should be domestic champions again, and they will be woefully out of their depth in the Champions League groups again. Winning twelve of the last thirteen titles sounds good; winning only two Champions League group games in a decade rather less so. But that nice balance between domestic dominance and not bothering about bettering oneself is what keeps Celtic in fat profit and their shareholders in decent dividends, and that's all that matters.

Around the turn of the year Rangers fans delighted in how, under Philippe Clement, the team looked so much better coached than under Michael Beale or even Gio Van Bronckhorst and Steven Gerrard. There's not nearly as much optimism now after they won only four of their last ten league games and the Scottish Cup final to boot. There doesn't seem to be a huge amount of money to spend (maybe you shouldn't have blown £15m on three strikers last summer, lads?) and with Borna Barisic, Connor Goldson and John Lundstram all leaving and James Tavernier 33 in a few months this feels like a team in transition. Having Danilo back up front will help, but it's hard to see how they will replace Abdallah Sima who returned to Brighton.

The next three teams in the table should be, in no particular order, ABERDEEN, HEARTS and HIBERNIAN simply because their financial strength is miles ahead of the rest (and light years adrift of the big two, mind). But of course Aberdeen and Hibs have been an absolute shambles for most of the last few years - in Aberdeen's case despite some big money player sales which really should have been reinvested better in the squad. The prospect of life after Bojan Miovski for the Dons is a sobering one, with a lot of money having already been spent on Ester Sokler, Pape Habib Gueye and now Peter Ambrose to step into the North Macedonian's shoes when he finally gets his big money move in the next few weeks. A lot is riding on the pedigree of new manager Jimmy Thelin, who comes with a strong reputation from Sweden and some high expectations too of high tempo, high pressing football. Those expectations will be hard to satisfy early doors, you feel. I like the signing of keeper Dimitar Mitov. I like less the £300,000 spunked on a 33 year old Norwegian midfielder who used to play for Thelin a few years back.

Hibs' latest cunning plan is to give David Gray the reins, in the hope that because he's a decent bloke who knows the club (and who is probably cheap too) he'll somehow be better than what came before. It worked with Steven Naismith at Hearts, but less so with Barry Robson at Aberdeen. So far they've sensibly focused on strengthening the defence with a new keeper in Josef Bursik and central defenders Warren O'Hora and Marvin Ekpiteta. If they stick with the midfield and attack they've got, that means a lot of pressure on Dylan Vente to score goals now he's finally being played as an out-and-out striker, and on Martin Boyle to show that last year was a blip rather than a sign he's beginning to slow down.

In contrast, Hearts have been a model club for the last little while, recruiting sensibly and getting the results on the pitch. Losing Alex Cochrane (albeit for a big fee) was a blow and means James Penrice has to hit the ground running at left wing-back but otherwise they look good both in terms of starting XI quality and depth. It'll help if Lawrence Shankland scores another 25 goals, and it'll help even more if someone like new signing Musa Drammeh can also be a goal threat. They should be able to better weather early season fixture congestion from their European games and are clear favourites to be best of the rest...though significantly closing that seventeen point gap to the big two still seems unlikely.

And then you have the other seven, who could potentially finish as high as third if the trio mentioned earlier underachieve again, or who could end up in a relegation scrap, or somewhere in between. Promoted DUNDEE UNITED have given Jim Goodwin enough resources to build a team that shouldn't go back down; they've held on to loan keeper Jack Walton, managed to attract wing-back Ryan Strain from St. Mirren and gone to the Balkans and Eastern Europe for signings too.

I'm a little nervous about KILMARNOCK and ST. MIRREN simply because playing in Europe in July and August seems to often coincide with a slow start domestically. Killie shouldn't be any weaker than last year as they've signed Robby McCrorie to play in goal and kept Stuart Findlay and Corrie Ndaba but it's not a huge squad and they need Dan Armstrong and Matty Kennedy to be as good as last year if they are to remain a top six side. St. Mirren lost some good players - Zech Hemming, Kwon, Keanu Baccus, Ryan Strain - but are always creative in the transfer market. They've done well to get Shaun Rooney, while Roland Idowu has started really well in midfield. You'd expect them to still be hard to beat.

DUNDEE were the other top six finishers but the downside of having so many good loan players is that you have to replace all of them (except keeper Jon McCracken) the next season. In general their strategy of spending on the squad instead of the pitch has worked well for them and they were able to find the funds to bring Simon Murray back to Tayside to lead the attack. Once Joe Shaughnessy is fit again they should be okay at the back, even though it'll be hard for Ziyad Larkeche to replace the departed Owen Beck. Will there be more loans incoming?

MOTHERWELL have been busier than anyone, with twelve new signings so far. They've spent some of the Theo Bair windfall on Australian striker Apostolos Stametelopoulos, but he or ex-Dundee loanee Zach Robinson will have to score a lot of goals to make up for losing the Canadian. Liam Kelly left too, so West Ham's Krisztian Hegyi joins on loan to play in goal, while Kofi Balmer and Liam Gordon boost the defence. Plenty of eyes will be on the development of talented teenager Lennon Miller in midfield.

ROSS COUNTY would have had a much less stressful season had they not dallied with Derek Adams for a couple of nightmare months. Don Cowie seems a far more sensible and stable appointment and gets his chance to put his stamp on the team. He has an entire backbone to replace with Jack Baldwin, Yan Dhanda and Simon Murray having left, with Akil Wright, Noah Chilvers and Ronan Hale (who has looked impressive so far) their respective replacements. After two consecutive relegation playoff appearances they will be hoping to move up in the world.

ST. JOHNSTONE only finished above County on goal difference in the end and the jury remains out on whether Craig Levein is anything more than a dinosaur whose tactics make any fan's eyes bleed. Captain Liam Gordon, star goalkeeper Dimitar Mitov and Daniel Phillips, their best midfielder, have all gone. Loan centre-backs Kyle Cameron and Lewis Neilson should be good signings but it's a big step up for new goalie Josh Rae and new striker Uche Ikpeazu will miss the start of the season with injury. This looks like another slog of a campaign.

So here's my predicted table:

1. CELTIC

2. RANGERS

3. HEARTS

4. ABERDEEN

5. HIBERNIAN

6. ST. MIRREN

7. MOTHERWELL

8. KILMARNOCK

9. DUNDEE UNITED

10. DUNDEE

11. ROSS COUNTY

12. ST. JOHNSTONE

tl;dr - Celtic ahead of Rangers, if Hearts/Hibs/Aberdeen aren't in the top five it's a disgrace, pick the other seven in whatever order you want except for maybe St Johnstone.

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly. 

2024/25 Scottish Championship preview

 When was the last time the Scottish Championship felt as open as this? Usually the side(s) that come down have a clear financial advantage that ultimately works in their favour over the course of an entire season, but that isn't the case this time around. And at the other end we can normally pinpoint a part-time side as relegation favourites, but not in 2024/25.

Genuinely, there are reasons why fans of every club can dream of a successful season...and perhaps fear a dreadful one. Let's do this preview in alphabetical order.

AIRDRIEONIANS (give them their Sunday name, please) did brilliantly to make the promotion playoffs last season and have one of the most talented young coaches in the country at the helm. Rhys McCabe has lost a lot of useful players this summer, including player-assistant manager Callum Fordyce, full-back Cammy Ballantyne, midfielder Charlie Telfer and keeper Josh Rae. And yet the Diamonds look no weaker. New striker Ben Wilson, signed from Cliftonville, has been a goal machine in the League Cup, while ex-Dundee United player Chris Mochrie and Rhys Armstrong, signed from The Spartans in League Two, add creativity. If new defender Aidan Wilson can fill the Fordyce-shaped hole then they will be good to go.

Scott Brown has his first big chance to create AYR UNITED in his image after taking over in January and he's been busy. Of those who have left, only maybe keeper Charlie Albinson and defender Sean McGinty will be missed. But he's managed to bring in Scott McMann - the Championship's best left-back last season at Dundee United - and Mikey Devlin to the defence, while up front he's brought back Anton Dowds on a permanent deal and stuck George Oakley alongside him. Jay Henderson and Jake Hastie are expected to provide the ammunition from the flanks. They will have higher aspirations than staying out of a relegation battle this time.

DUNFERMLINE ATHLETIC managed to stay just ahead of that battle last season but their form in the second half of the season wasn't great. They've finally signed David Wotherspoon, a year after they originally pursued him, but the Canadian international is now 34. The other marquee signing, Chris Kane, is capable but terribly injury-prone. Meanwhile they've lost left-back Josh Edwards and a lot of loan players haven't been replaced either. I imagine there could be several new signings by the end of the window but they look a bit thin just now.

FALKIRK will hope to carry momentum from their invincible League One season and they could do some real damage. A number of players, such as Coll Donaldson, Sean Mackie, Liam Henderson and especially Calumn Morrison, were far too good for that division. So far John McGlynn has largely kept the band together, signing Ethan Ross and Dylan Tait permanently after loan spells last season, and they do have a decent amount of depth. How far they can go will depend on whether Ross MacIver can prove to be a regular goalscorer in the Championship.

Only eight senior players (including Kirk Broadfoot, 40 next week) remain at GREENOCK MORTON from last season and Dougie Imrie was probably right to refresh the squad. He could have done without losing strike duo Robbie Muirhead and George Oakley, with plenty of question marks about their replacements, Jordan Davies (signed from the Welsh league), Lamar Reynolds (from English non-league) and veteran Jay Emmanuel-Thomas. They should automatically be relegated if they let the latter put 'JET' on the back of his shirt. Otherwise maybe the flair of newbies Nathan Shaw, Owen Moffat and Arron Lyall may keep them out of trouble.

HAMILTON ACADEMICAL are back after a year away and looked in decidedly better shape than when they were relegated in May 2023...until the news yesterday about missed wage payments which sounds very dicey indeed. "A global banking issue", my a***. They will miss Lewis Smith who left for Livi, but Steven Bradley (who has gone in the other direction) and Daire O'Connor should make up for that. Surely Oli Shaw should do well at this level, and with him, Kevin O'Hara, Euan Henderson and Nikolay Todorov they are not short of firepower. Barry Maguire adds another option in midfield alongside Jamie Barjonas, Ben Williamson and Scott Martin and Sean McGinty is another experienced centre-back to pair with Dylan McGowan or Lee Kilday.

LIVINGSTON may have been relegated from the top flight but that doesn't automatically make them the team to beat. They've stuck by David Martindale but he certainly hasn't stuck by the squad that went down, bringing in twelve players so far. As ever, most of them are unfamiliar but Reece McAlear and Ryan McGowan are known quantities who should get by fine. Midfielder Stephen Kelly should surely thrive at this level. As it stands there will be a heavy dependency on Tete Yengi or new signing Robbie Muirhead for goals. If Martindale hasn't managed to restore player confidence after a bruising campaign then they could have a rough start.

PARTICK THISTLE will always be in the mix as long as Brian Graham is still living and breathing and therefore banging in twenty goals every year. Kris Doolan has boosted the support for him by bringing in Logan Chalmers, Robbie Crawford and Daniel Mackay, as well as bringing back Kyle Turner. The defence has lost Jack McMillan and Lewis Neilson, though Lee Ashcroft might replace the latter. Thistle should keep scoring more than they concede though and will fancy they can at least make the playoffs for a third straight year.

QUEEN'S PARK only avoided the relegation playoff on the final day last season, amid suspicions that they weren't actually that much better (but were much more dour) under Callum Davidson. A glut of League Cup goals has changed that viewpoint somewhat. Whilst they did sell on star striker Ruari Paton to Port Vale (he and young defender Alex Bannon both brought in decent fees), and lost veteran centre-back Danny Wilson as well, they did well to grab Cammy Kerr from Dundee and ex-ICT midfielder Roddy MacGregor, injured for most of the last two seasons, could be an absolute diamond in midfield. Zak Rudden has lost his way a bit in recent years but the young forward should benefit from being at a club where he is wanted and from being undisputed first choice striker. 

And lastly RAITH ROVERS will try to go one step further after suffering defeat in the promotion playoff final in May. They've been especially busy in trying to improve the defence, bringing in Lewis Stevenson and Paul Hanlon from Hibs as well as Callum Fordyce and Kieran Freeman; they should be much more solid at the back than last season and less reliant on the heroics of keeper Kevin Dabrowski. If Lewis Vaughan can stay fit - which is always a big if - this could be another good season for them.

So my predicted table - which you could probably turn upside down if you wanted, looks like this:

1. PARTICK THISTLE

2. RAITH ROVERS

3. FALKIRK

4. AYR UNITED

5. AIRDRIEONIANS

6. LIVINGSTON

7. QUEEN'S PARK

8. DUNFERMLINE ATHLETIC

9. GREENOCK MORTON

10. HAMILTON ACADEMICAL

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly. 

2024/25 Scottish League One preview

 Traditionally, my League One season previews follow a standard pattern: the full-time teams near the top, the well-run part-time teams in the middle and part-time teams that seem one step up from a pub side at the bottom.

Except this time around the part-time teams seem to be the professional outfits, whereas the full-time sides...well, let's segue neatly onto the subject of  INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE, who are back in the seaside leagues for the first time this century, and my God it has been quite the journey. Making predictions about League One this season is somewhat complicated by not knowing what's going to happen next with the biggest mob the Highlands has seen since the Jacobites assembled at Culloden. The squad consists of some veterans who are under contract and they can't get rid of, a bunch of kids who'll be in mid-table Highland League lineups within two years, and the manager's son, who wasn't good enough to get a game for Forfar last year. And the prospective takeover has more red flags than a Soviet Union military parade. Fan-bloody-tastic. Maybe the new money will bring in lots of reinforcements. More likely, there is no new money and a points deduction in the coming months...if the club still manages to exist.

Now let's avert our eyes from this car crash and remember there are nine other clubs in this division. Two others are full-time but operating such restricted budgets that this hardly seems to give them the advantage one might expect.

It certainly feels like COVE RANGERS have scaled back the ambition that took them to the Championship two seasons ago and saw them go full-time last year. The loss of top scorer Rumarn Burrell will hit them hard and it will be asking a lot of Grady McGrath to step up from the Highland League and fill the gap. Otherwise Declan Glass (back for a third spell, and permanently this time) joins Fraser Fyvie and Connor Scully in a strong midfield while defender Ryan Harrington joins from the Welsh League. At the time of writing Cove have won only five league matches in 2024 - two against the hapless Edinburgh City - and whilst I don't like reading much into the League Cup that 5-0 gubbing at home to Spartans set off a hell of a lot of alarm bells. Paul Hartley is surely on a shoogly peg already.

There's more optimism in Dumfries. QUEEN OF THE SOUTH actually flirted with a relegation playoff spot at times last year but have replaced Marvin Bartley with Peter Murphy, a manager who has quietly down really well on limited resources for years and has earned the chance to take over a full-time squad. They seem to have given him a wee bit to work with too, given the arrival of twelve new players including ex-Rangers starlet Kai Kennedy, veteran keeper Ross Stewart and utility man Brennan Dickerson from Oldham. They could do with another forward otherwise they'll be dependent on Leighton McIntosh for goals, but they should certainly be stronger than last year.

Murphy's old club ANNAN ATHLETIC did a phenomenal job to stay up last season, but they've lost their talismanic manager and replaced him with Wullie Gibson, who himself previously flopped as boss in Dumfries. Forty next month, Gibson will still do a job himself at right-back and he's managed to bring in Paul McGowan and Josh Todd as extra experience in midfield as well but Matty Douglas, Dom Docherty and Benjamin Luissint were all poached by their old coach. If Aidan Smith and Tommy Goss both manage to get into double figures again then they could yet survive, but the odds are longer this time around.

In theory, DUMBARTON are likely to be at the wrong end of the table if only because they came up via the playoffs. Manager Stevie Farrell has generally been seen as an underachiever, with his three seasons at the club having comprised a relegation and then two promotion playoff appearances with a squad that was probably stronger than the results they were getting. Still, they've kept their core together and signing Matthew Shiels (back after leaving in January) and Mohamed Niang from Cove will do them good. Expect a few loan signings before the end of August to give the team a boost though.

The other newly promoted side are STENHOUSEMUIR, who were unstoppable mid-season before somewhat limping over the line. Gary Naysmith has mostly stuck with the squad that won League Two, which means plenty of experience in the form of keeper Darren Jamieson, centre-back Gregor Buchanan and midfield duo Kyle Jacobs and Nat Wedderburn. One suspects they will also reinforce in the coming weeks.

ALLOA ATHLETIC were the strongest of the part-time sides last season and really seemed to kick on after Andy Graham took charge. The Wasps' main issue will be the loss of brilliant loan players Ethan Sutherland, Taylor Steven and Bobby Wales, which so far is only offset by the arrival of full-back Calum Waters from Morton. It may be hard for them to repeat last year's third place finish but they might also not get a better opportunity than this to get back into the Championship.

Ditto MONTROSE who also fell short in the promotion playoffs but who continue to punch well above their weight under Stewart Petrie; it feels like Petrie still has the nucleus of the squad that he won League Two in 2018, but he does a great job of renewing small parts of it every summer. Sean Dillon (41) and Michael Gardyne (38) are still seemingly going strong and the front two of Kane Hester and Blair Lyons both got into double-figures last season. Every time I write a League One preview I suggest the Gable Endies are due to regress a bit and up to now I've always been wrong...

Their local derbies with ARBROATH are back this year after the Red Lichties' stay in the Championship finally finished on the back of an horrendous run of form. Their win at Bonnyrigg in their last League Cup game was only their second since mid-December in all competitions. Despite that, and despite supporters' concerns, Jim McIntyre remains in charge. He's done well to convince Callum Gallagher to lead his attack and Keith Watson to marshal the defence. This should be more the level of guys like Innes Murray and Craig Slater as well. But the knives will be out if they have a slow start.

Bonus points to KELTY HEARTS for signing two new keepers this summer called Adams and Adamson. Michael Tidser has quietly done a lot with a little there, even though every offseason seems to require him to rebuild most of his squad; on this occasion first choice goalie Kyle Gourlay left because of his day job, Jason Thomson has retired and midfielder Reece Lyon moved to QOS. Ex-Hearts (the big ones) youth defender Callum Flatman has stood out in their League Cup games, while they did well to get Brody Paterson back permanently to boost their backline as well. Does Scott Allan have anything left in the tank? With top scorer Alfie Bavidge back at Aberdeen they'll need another loan forward, Queen's Park's Scott Williamson, to hit the ground running.

So my predicted table - based on the assumption that Caley Thistle are heading inexorably for catastrophe...

1. QUEEN OF THE SOUTH

2. ALLOA ATHLETIC

3. ARBROATH

4. MONTROSE

5. KELTY HEARTS

6. COVE RANGERS

7. STENHOUSEMUIR

8. DUMBARTON

9. ANNAN ATHLETIC

10. INVERNESS CALEDONIAN THISTLE

2024/25 Scottish League Two preview

In the absence of one clear heavily-bankrolled favourite, trying to predict League Two has been a bit of a mug's game in recent years. Luckily, I happen to be a mug.

I work from three tenets here; firstly, a good (or terrible) manager makes a hell of a difference; secondly, good recruitment makes a hell of a difference; and thirdly, the League Cup results are a lousy predictor (Forfar Athletic have burned me too often on this point).

I'm not in a position to judge whether the maverick Michael McIndoe is a good or bad manager going by the absolute shambles he inherited at EDINBURGH CITY last season, but the fact that he has recruited an entirely new squad that mostly consists of their peers' cast-offs, some kids and a few Lowland League players is not hugely reassuring. Back-to-back relegations do happen - Brechin City are a recent example - and the Citizens are certainly likely to have a rough start. If they do so, the question is whether they can find the resources to strengthen mid-season and save themselves...

...like CLYDE did last year following the appointment of Ian McCall. A combination of a bit more cash and the lure of playing for the former Ayr and Partick Thistle coach have turned Clyde from a club that looked doomed to the Lowland League in January to many folks' title favourites this time around. An attack of Kyle Connell, Lee Connelly (Connell and Connelly - a commentator's nightmare) and Jordan Allan belongs a division higher, as do new full-backs Jordan Houston and Tommy Robson. They're not good enough to stroll this league but they are definitely good enough to win it.

Talking of impressive managerial appointments, lower league legend Uncle Fester Dick Campbell rocked up in Methil in the spring and that alone makes EAST FIFE contenders. They seemed to be punching well below their weight last season and Campbell's nous plus defensive reinforcements Andy Munro and Reis Peggie should make them very competitive, particularly with Nathan Austin and veteran Alan Trouten up front. A couple of good loan signings - a trademark of Campbell's time at Arbroath - would put them over the top.

THE SPARTANS - don't forget the 'The' - came this close to promotion last time out - pipped in the playoff final by Dumbarton - and so should be in the mix again even after losing talented midfielder Rhys Armstrong to Airdrie. They'll look to ex-Peterhead man Hamish Ritchie to replace his creativity. With Callum Booth and Paul Watson in defence and James Craigen and Danny Denholm in midfield they don't lack experience, but another glut of goals from Blair Henderson would help their chances.

PETERHEAD were also in the playoffs and are mostly looking to run it back this year with a similar squad. The departures of Ritchie, Conor O'Keefe and Joe McKee mean a much-changed midfield though, and surely Rory McAllister can't go on forever? At the moment they seem to be treading water a bit.

Their fellow ex-Highland Leaguers ELGIN CITY were another team who hit the panic button early enough last season to survive, and so far manager Allan Hale has impressed far more than I expected for someone who was poached from Huntly. Cove loanees Mark Gallagher and Dajon Golding spearheaded their recovery and signing the latter on a permanent deal is a big boost. Ex-ICT midfielder Lewis Hyde will do all right at this level too. They'll certainly be hoping to avoid a relegation battle this time around.

So too will BONNYRIGG ROSE, though such optimism is more likely to be misplaced. Calum Elliot's arrival in the dugout led to enough of a short-term bounce that they survived in May but he favours a more possession-based style that might be too much to ask of a League Two side, particularly one that lacks resources compared to some of the others. Elliot knows the Lowland League well, but we'll see whether many of his signings from that tier can make the step up. The only recognisable name is 35 year old Kallum Higginbotham, who has decided to take one last crack at the SPFL.

Of course, it was STRANRAER who prevailed in the Pyramid Playoff, and it's mildly surprising that they've stuck by boss Scott Agnew after that close shave. He's certainly refreshed the squad, and the arrivals of defender Adam Cummins and midfielders Tomas Brindley and Mark Russell particularly stand out. You'd think the only way is up, but one would assume Agnew is on a short leash.

I expected a lot more of FORFAR ATHLETIC the last couple of seasons because of Ray McKinnon's previous CV but they've been stuck in mid-table and been dull as ditchwater to boot. But McKinnon's still there and will be looking for ex-Alloa youngster Nathan Cannon to solve their problem in front of goal. Winger Ross MacLean might add a little more flair, but they still look a lot stronger at the back than at the front.

And lastly we have STIRLING ALBION, not least because I find them the hardest side of all to judge; they slumped to relegation via the League One playoffs last season and sacked Darren Young afterward; his replacement Alan Maybury has already brought in twelve new faces. They shouldn't be short of goals with Ally Roy joining Dale Carrick and Dale Hilson while I'd fancy Derek Gaston might be the best keeper in this division.  and it's good to see defender Sam Denham return to the league after a year out with a serious injury.

So here's my predicted table:

1. CLYDE

2. STIRLING ALBION

3. EAST FIFE

4. THE SPARTANS

5. PETERHEAD

6. FORFAR ATHLETIC

7. ELGIN CITY

8. STRANRAER

9. BONNYRIGG ROSE

10. EDINBURGH CITY

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly. 

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 2)

The defence and goalkeeper can be found here.

CENTRAL MIDFIELD: MATT O'RILEY (CELTIC), CALLUM MCGREGOR (CELTIC)

Honourable mentions: Lyall Cameron (Dundee), Beni Baningime (Heart of Midlothian), Connor Barron (Aberdeen), Mark O'Hara (St. Mirren)

I'm cheating a bit here as O'Riley could - should? - be better placed as an attacking midfielder. Anyway, he was damn good and possibly should have won Player Of The Year? McGregor is McGregor, a class above any other deep-lying midfielder in the league. This is the fifth year in the last six that I've picked him.

Reo Hatate and Mohamed Diomande would be in the honourable mentions list had they played enough league matches. Cameron has quietly developed into a fine player at Dundee and kept a never-ending list of loan signings out of the team all season. I've always liked Baningime, who seems to have finally got over the knee injury that kept him out for a year and led to a slow start to 2023/24. Barron's finish to the campaign was impressive enough that he was thought to have a chance of making Scotland's squad for the Euros; it'll be interesting to see where he goes now his contract is up. O'Hara missed some action due to injuries and St. Mirren were significantly worse off when he wasn't on the pitch.

ATTACKING MIDFIELD: DAN ARMSTRONG (KILMARNOCK), ABDALLAH SIMA (RANGERS)

Honourable mentions: Blair Spittal (Motherwell), Matthew Kennedy (Kilmarnock), Greg Kiltie (St. Mirren), Yan Dhanda (Ross County)

Armstrong was an assists machine for Killie as well as a diligent worker down the flank. Could Rangers have won the title had they not lost Sima for much of the Spring? He was their best attacking player by miles.

Spittal had a career year and has earned himself a move to Hearts, as has cultured playmaker Dhanda. Armstrong's teammate Kennedy was excellent on the opposite wing. Kiltie has established himself as an important creative presence for St. Mirren.

STRIKERS: LAWRENCE SHANKLAND (HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN), BOJAN MIOVSKI (ABERDEEN)

Honourable mentions: Cyriel Dessers (Rangers), Simon Murray (Ross County), Theo Bair (Motherwell), Kyogo Furuhashi (Celtic)

Hard to argue with these two picks, even if neither plays for Celtic or Rangers. Shankland has become so much more than a poacher and may yet be Scotland's starting striker at the Euros. One shudders to think how far Aberdeen could have fallen but for their North Macedonian talisman, who will surely earn them millions this summer.

Dessers got better and better over time after a rough start, though Rangers might still feel they need even more quality leading the line. Murray was the main reason County stayed up, while Bair was the most surprising success story of the season, going from being a joke at St. Johnstone to a goalscoring machine at Motherwell. Kyogo deserves at least a passing mention in dispatches, though his all-round contribution isn't what it was when Ange was in charge at Celtic.

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.

The seventeenth annual Narey's Toepoker Team of the Year (part 1)

How long do I have to keep this going before I can call this an 'annual tradition'?

I'm mainly doing it because I've always done it and I'm worried the universe will implode and swallow itself whole if I stop. But I haven't yet reached the point when I can look back and laugh at the fact I included Daniel Majstorovic one year.

The previous sixteen vintages, for the record:

2007/08: Allan McGregor (Rangers), Alan Hutton (Rangers), Carlos Cuellar (Rangers), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Lee Naylor (Celtic), Barry Robson (Celtic), Stephen Hughes (Motherwell), Barry Ferguson (Rangers), Aiden McGeady (Celtic), Scott McDonald (Celtic), Steven Fletcher (Hibernian)

2008/09: Lukasz Zaluska (Dundee United), Andreas Hinkel (Celtic), Gary Caldwell (Celtic), Lee Wilkie (Dundee United), Sasa Papac (Rangers), Scott Brown (Celtic), Bruno Aguiar (Hearts), Pedro Mendes (Rangers), Andrew Driver (Hearts), Scott McDonald (Celtic), Kris Boyd (Rangers)

2009/10: John Ruddy (Motherwell), Steven Whittaker (Rangers), David Weir (Rangers), Andy Webster (Dundee United), Sasa Papac (Rangers), Steven Davis (Rangers), Morgaro Gomis (Dundee United), James McArthur (Hamilton), Anthony Stokes (Hibernian), Kris Boyd (Rangers), David Goodwillie (Dundee United)

2010/11: Marian Kello (Hearts), Steven Whittaker (Rangers), Daniel Majstorovic (Celtic), Michael Duberry (St. Johnstone), Emilio Izaguirre (Celtic), Steven Naismith (Rangers), Beram Kayal (Celtic), Alexei Eremenko (Kilmarnock), David Templeton (Hearts), Nikica Jelavic (Rangers), David Goodwillie (Dundee United)

2011/12: Cammy Bell (Kilmarnock), Adam Matthews (Celtic), Carlos Bocanegra (Rangers), Charlie Mulgrew (Celtic), Paul Dixon (Dundee United), James Forrest (Celtic), Victor Wanyama (Celtic), Ian Black (Hearts), Dean Shiels (Kilmarnock), Jon Daly (Dundee United), Gary Hooper (Celtic)

2012/13: Fraser Forster (Celtic), Mihael Kovacevic (Ross County), Gary Warren (Inverness CT), Mark Reynolds (Aberdeen), Stevie Hammell (Motherwell), Victor Wanyama (Celtic), Nicky Law (Motherwell), Murray Davidson (St. Johnstone), Leigh Griffiths (Hibernian), Michael Higdon (Motherwell), Billy Mckay (Inverness CT) 

2013/14: Jamie MacDonald (Hearts), Dave Mackay (St. Johnstone), Virgil Van Dijk (Celtic), Mark Reynolds (Aberdeen), Andrew Robertson (Dundee United), Scott Brown (Celtic), Stuart Armstrong (Dundee United), Peter Pawlett (Aberdeen), Kris Commons (Celtic), Kris Boyd (Kilmarnock), Stevie May (St. Johnstone)

2014/15: Craig Gordon (Celtic), Shay Logan (Aberdeen), Virgil Van Dijk (Celtic), Jason Denayer (Celtic), Graeme Shinnie (Inverness CT), Ryan Jack (Aberdeen), Greg Tansey (Inverness CT), Greg Stewart (Dundee), Stefan Johansen (Celtic), Gary Mackay-Steven (Dundee United/Celtic), Adam Rooney (Aberdeen)

2015/16: Jamie MacDonald (Kilmarnock), Callum Paterson (Hearts), Igor Rossi (Hearts), Andrew Davies (Ross County), Graeme Shinnie (Aberdeen), Nir Bitton (Celtic), Jackson Irvine (Ross County), Jonny Hayes (Aberdeen), Kenny McLean (Aberdeen), Marvin Johnson (Motherwell), Leigh Griffiths (Celtic)

2016/17: Joe Lewis (Aberdeen), Callum Paterson (Hearts), Jozo Simunovic (Celtic), Joe Shaughnessy (St. Johnstone), Kieran Tierney (Celtic), Jonny Hayes (Aberdeen), Stuart Armstrong (Celtic), Adam Barton (Partick Thistle), Scott Sinclair (Celtic), Moussa Dembele (Celtic), Liam Boyce (Ross County)

2017/18: Jon McLaughlin (Hearts), James Tavernier (Rangers), Scott McKenna (Aberdeen), Christophe Berra (Hearts), Kieran Tierney (Celtic), Scott Brown (Celtic), Dylan McGeouch (Hibernian), John McGinn (Hibernian), James Forrest (Celtic), Daniel Candeias (Rangers), Kris Boyd (Kilmarnock)

2018/19: Allan McGregor (Rangers), James Tavernier (Rangers), Kristoffer Ajer (Celtic), Craig Halkett (Livingston), Kieran Tierney (Celtic), Callum McGregor (Celtic), David Turnbull (Motherwell), James Forrest (Celtic), Ryan Christie (Celtic), Ryan Kent (Rangers), Alfredo Morelos (Rangers)

2019/20: Mark Gillespie (Motherwell), James Tavernier (Rangers), Kristoffer Ajer (Celtic), Jon Guthrie (Livingston), Borna Barisic (Rangers), James Forrest (Celtic), Callum McGregor (Celtic), Ali McCann (St. Johnstone), Niall McGinn (Aberdeen), Odsonne Edouard (Celtic), Alfredo Morelos (Rangers)

2020/21: Benjamin Siegrist (Dundee United), James Tavernier (Rangers), Conor Goldson (Rangers), Jason Kerr (St. Johnstone), Borna Barisic (Rangers), Steven Davis (Rangers), Ali McCann (St. Johnstone), Ryan Kent (Rangers), David Turnbull (Celtic), Martin Boyle (Hibernian), Odsonne Edouard (Celtic)

2021/22: Craig Gordon (Hearts), James Tavernier (Rangers), Cameron Carter-Vickers (Celtic), Ryan Edwards (Dundee United), Stephen Kingsley (Hearts), Callum McGregor (Celtic), Joe Aribo (Rangers), Regan Charles-Cook (Ross County), Barrie McKay (Hearts), Jota (Celtic), Alfredo Morelos (Rangers)

2022/23: Trevor Carson (St. Mirren), James Tavernier (Rangers), Cameron Carter-Vickers (Celtic), Conor Goldson (Rangers), Greg Taylor (Celtic), Callum McGregor (Celtic), Reo Hatate (Celtic), Jota (Celtic), Malik Tillman (Rangers), Kyogo Furuhashi (Celtic), Kevin Van Veen (Motherwell)

And here's the goalkeeper and back four - it is always a back four, for some reason - for this campaign.

GOALKEEPER: DIMITAR MITOV (ST. JOHNSTONE)

Honourable mentions: Jack Butland (Rangers), Joe Hart (Celtic)

See how extraordinarily crap St. Johnstone were this season? Well, imagine how bad it would have been had it not been for a superhuman Bulgarian between the sticks. It seemed apt that Mitov finished the season with a huge penalty save on the final day which helped the Perth Saints escape a relegation playoff. As for the others, Butland impressed sufficiently that he nearly got back in the England picture, while Hart still looked decent in his final days as a player on the rare occasions he was actually called upon.

RIGHT-BACK: JAMES TAVERNIER (RANGERS)

Honourable mentions: Alistair Johnston (Celtic), Nicky Devlin (Aberdeen)

That's seven years in a row I've picked Tav, a record that will surely never be beaten (because surely I won't be doing this in seven years time). It was same old, same old; a little iffy defensively now and again but more than making up for it as a creator and scorer of goals. Given he turns 33 in November, surely he is past his peak now though. Johnston wasn't too flashy but rarely looked exposed, at least in domestic games. Devlin was pretty decent at right wing-back for Aberdeen.

LEFT-BACK: OWEN BECK (DUNDEE)

Honourable mentions: Greg Taylor (Celtic), Alex Cochrane (Hearts)

This is a rare case of me putting a non-Old Firm player in for more than just the laughs. Beck made the PFA Scotland Team of the Year, and was so impressive in the first half of the season that Liverpool took him back in January and gave him a first-team appearance before deciding to return him to Tayside. It's safe to say that he will go on to shine at a much higher level than the Scottish Premiership. Taylor often seems to get a lot of stick but he has been very good for Celtic the last few years. I struggled to come up with a third left-back but I thought Cochrane was as good as anyone else (I note I wrote pretty much the same thing about him last season!).

CENTRAL DEFENDERS: CAMERON CARTER-VICKERS (CELTIC), FRANKIE KENT (HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN)

Honourable mentions: John Souttar (Rangers), Lewis Mayo (Kilmarnock), Alex Gogic (St. Mirren), Joe Shaughnessy (Dundee)

Carter-Vickers strolls through Scottish football, frankly. I'm surprised he isn't bored and itching to test himself at a higher level yet. This is the third consecutive season I've named him. Kent's ball-playing was almost as important to Hearts as his solid defending. I listed Souttar as one of the worst signings of the previous season and fairly had to eat my words as he not only stayed fit but was consistently Rangers' best centre-back. Mayo had a breakout season for Kilmarnock. The years-long debate over whether Gogic is best in defence or midfield seems to have been ended at last by the Cypriot's dominant performances in a back three. His former St. Mirren teammate Shaughnessy was a major factor in Dundee making the top six.

I'll do the rest at some point next week. Maybe.

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.

Picking Scotland's Euro 2024 squad...again

Steve Clarke has till 6 June to name his Euro 2024 squad. We had a go at predicting it all the way back in November; since then UEFA have confirmed that 26 players can be named - just like at the last Euros - and we have lost Lewis Ferguson to an ACL injury. Here's who I think Clarke will pick, with my thoughts. I'm not expecting any 'October surprises' so there's no Harvey Barnes or Tino Livramento here, sadly...

GOALKEEPERS

On the plane: Angus Gunn, Craig Gordon, Zander Clark

Missing out: Liam Kelly

Notes: Gunn is obviously first choice. In November I thought Kelly was ahead of Gordon in the queue but subsequent selections have suggested it's the other way around. In fact, if anything happens to Gunn I'd imagine the Hearts veteran would get the nod ahead of teammate Clark, even though the latter has started more often at club level this season. Clark looked very uncomfortable in relief of Gunn for a f few games in 2023, which may count against him.

CENTRAL DEFENDERS

On the plane: Kieran Tierney, Jack Hendry, Ryan Porteous, Scott McKenna, John Souttar, Liam Cooper

Missing out: Grant Hanley

Notes: All being well, I'd expect Tierney, Hendry and either McKenna or Porteous to start against Germany. Cooper goes because Clarke will want another left-footed centre-back to cover for Tierney. Souttar has been consistently good for Rangers this season. Hanley has played only eight minutes of first-team football since March and hasn't stayed consistently fit since his achilles rupture a year ago, which makes it hard to justify picking him even for his leadership and ability in the air.

FULL-BACKS

On the plane: Andrew Robertson, Nathan Patterson, Aaron Hickey, Greg Taylor, Ross McCrorie

Missing out: Anthony Ralston, Josh Doig, Max Johnston

Notes: Right wing-back is the main area of worry for Clarke and everyone else, as Hickey hasn't played since November because of injury and Patterson recently picked up a significant hamstring injury. Clarke will give both as much time as possible - there's a big drop off from Hickey to Patterson and another big drop to whoever the next man up is - probably McCrorie, whose background was in central defence and central midfield but who has played on the right for Bristol City most of this season. Ralston is only a backup at Celtic but has played well for the national team previously and it wouldn't be a surprise if he was named ahead of McCrorie; certainly if neither Hickey nor Patterson can go he will be in. On the left, Robertson is undisputed first choice; whilst Tierney is the best alternative at the position, Clarke will take Taylor as Robertson's deputy so Tierney can remain in central defence. But there's enough options here that there isn't a place for Doig, who has done well in Italy, or Johnston. 

CENTRAL MIDFIELDERS

On the plane: John McGinn, Callum McGregor, Scott McTominay, Billy Gilmour, Ryan Christie, Kenny McLean, Connor Barron

Missing out: Lewis Ferguson, Elliot Anderson, Ryan Jack, David Turnbull

Notes: The loss of Ferguson is a blow; he had been so good for Bologna that he might have forced himself into the lineup, or at least would have been an excellent option off the bench. The most likely starters are McGregor and Gilmour deep, with McGinn and McTominay more advanced. Christie has been brilliant in a deeper position for Bournemouth and could be used in any of the midfield roles too. McLean will be along as much for his experience as anything else, and is always a good player to come off the bench late in a match. It sounds like Aberdeen prodigy Barron might take advantage of the extra squad slots, though he's unlikely to get minutes. Sadly, Jack just can't stay fit, which is a pity because he and McGregor have always worked well together in front of the defence, Turnbull fell off the radar even before he joined Cardiff, and no-one is sure if Anderson even wants to play for Scotland after he withdrew from a squad last September.

ATTACKING MIDFIELDERS

On the plane: Stuart Armstrong, James Forrest

Missing out: Ryan Fraser, Danny Armstrong, Ben Doak, Ryan Gauld

Notes: I've separated these guys from the other midfielders because they are essentially attackers who won't be playing at centre-forward, but Clarke's usual tactics don't involve out-and-out wingers and McGinn and McTominay will probably be the more attack-minded midfielders. These guys will probably come off the bench if/when we are chasing games. S. Armstrong seems likely to get over a late-season injury scare. Forrest wasn't even in my mind in November but he has been absolutely fantastic in recent weeks. There has been talk of Doak getting a nod (like Barron above) but he hasn't played since December. Fraser has been in Clarke's bad books for calling off too easily in the past and hasn't done enough this season to compensate for that. D. Armstrong has been sensational for Kilmarnock this season and could be an option as right wing-back too but it would be a hell of a step up. Gauld continues to impress in the States but the folks back home never seem to notice.

STRIKERS

On the plane: Lyndon Dykes, Che Adams, Lawrence Shankland

Missing out: Jacob Brown, Kevin Nisbet, Ross Stewart, Oli McBurnie, Lewis Morgan

Notes: The question here is if three strikers is enough, but it's hard to justify any of the others with the exception of Morgan who is scoring goals like mad in the U.S. and would be the sort of in-form wild card option that Clarke should consider. As for the other rejects here, Brown has been injured for months, Nisbet and Stewart are only just back from long-term layoffs, while McBurnie is a favourite of mine who has shown flashes for Sheffield United this season and is outstanding in the air, but is probably more trouble than he is worth. Dykes, Adams and Shankland are all capable of being the front man against Germany, and all capable of contributing off the bench. None, unfortunately, is the world-class forward we desperately lack, but they are unquestionably the best three we have.

If it were me, I'd find a place for Morgan, as a striker who is in form is always worth having, and possibly Doak - I think the latter has at least a little potential to contribute compared to Barron.  But it's not up to me...

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.    

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 2)

Here's part 1, the countdown from 25 to 11.

And here's the top 10. Who will succeed Anthony Stewart as the 'winner'?

10. RILEY HARBOTTLE (HIBERNIAN)

According to Harbottle, he was so strongly encouraged to join Hibs by then-Forest teammate Scott McKenna that McKenna "seemed more excited about it than I was". I wouldn't take advice from him in the future, Riley. Harbottle joined Hibs on a three year deal for "an undisclosed fee", made one league appearance (a defeat at home to Livingston) and didn't get on the pitch for them again. He joined League Two Colchester on loan in January.

9. KYOSUKE TAGAWA (HEART OF MIDLOTHIAN)

If I were feeling generous, I'd say that it may have been difficult for Tagawa to acclimatise following his move from his native Japan, and that his minutes have been limited by Lawrence Shankland's outstanding form. However the fact remains that Hearts paid a fee for him, his only goal was in a League Cup game against Championship opposition and expectations for a twice-capped international should be higher than that. Tagawa has already been linked with an exit this summer.

8. JOSE CIFUENTES (RANGERS)

Michael Beale pursued Cifuentes for months, spent £1.2m on him and boasted that he would take Rangers "to the next level". Within five months he was away on loan to Cruzeiro, having chosen a move to Brazil because "I didn't experience the sun for the six months I was with Rangers. It was always cold". The Ecuadorian playmaker just wasn't very good at, erm, making the play - he had just two assists in twenty appearances and missed out on a League Cup medal because he was suspended for a straight red in a league game a few days before. Rangers will hope Cruzeiro take up their option to sign him, given he still has three years on his Ibrox contract.

7. LUKE JEPHCOTT (ST. JOHNSTONE)

The Welsh under-21 forward looked like a pretty good signing, just two years removed from scoring 16 goals in League One. That's 16 more than he scored in Scotland. Jephcott made eleven appearances for St. Johnstone but had drifted out of favour even before Craig Levein took charge. Levein's description of the striker as "a luxury" was not unreasonable; he is by all accounts a predator but his link-up play was so poor that his equally mediocre teammates couldn't get up the pitch to create chances for him. Jephcott completed a quarter of his two year contract before moving to Newport County in January...where he still isn't scoring.

6. NAT PHILLIPS (CELTIC)

Phillips' last appearance in the Hoops will define his forgettable spell at the club - a 2-1 defeat at Kilmarnock where he scored an own goal and was just a general shambles. This was another loan move that looked decent on paper and proved anything but; Phillips was always talked of highly by Liverpool and was frequently linked with £10m moves to the likes of Burnley and Bournemouth, but you'd be lucky to get ten bob for him on the back of his performances in Scotland. Four starts and as many sub appearances later, he returned south and has had a better second half of the season at Cardiff City.

5. RHYS WILLIAMS (ABERDEEN)

Career Premier League starts: seven (for Liverpool!). Career Premiership starts, or sub appearances: zero. The signing of Williams seemed to be a coup at the time, Aberdeen taking advantage of the success Leighton Clarkson had on loan last season to attract another talented youngster from Anfield. And yet Williams didn't play a competitive game for the Dons' first team, though he did appear as part of  a Colts' defence that shipped five against Peterhead in the Challenge Cup, and also by all accounts had a shocker in an Aberdeenshire Shield game against Fraserburgh. He struggled with injury initially and then couldn't crack the starting lineup even with Aberdeen's poor results and hectic schedule. He was rarely even on the bench except on Conference League nights, when Barry Robson was allowed to name half the city as substitutes. Having left Scotland in January, it didn't get any better for Williams, whose subsequent loan at Port Vale lasted just sixteen days because of another injury.

4. GUSTAF LAGERBIELKE (CELTIC)

Strange but true: Lagerbielke is a Baron - the eleventh Baron Lagerbielke - and is actually 254th in line to the Swedish throne, putting him closer to the crown than he is to Celtic's starting lineup. Had Cameron Carter-Vickers not picked up a knock, Lagerbielke would have been loaned to Lecce, but Brendan Rodgers insisted on keeping him for defensive cover. Even some moaning to the Italian press couldn't get the Swede the escape he desired. He'll always have that winning goal against Feyenoord in a Champions League dead rubber, but that was in one of just three appearances (all off the bench) that he's made since the end of September. This guy cost £3.5m.

3. OLI SHAW (MOTHERWELL)

Shaw's loan spell was so underwhelming that it was no surprise that in January Motherwell sent him back to Barnsley. It was a surprise when, two weeks later, he returned. Rumour has it that Well tried to exercise a clause allowing them to end the loan early if there was an injury, but Shaw wasn't injured enough. And having played for his parent club earlier in the season, Shaw couldn't sign for anyone else and Barnsley didn't want him back. So Shaw is still a Steelman, one who has made eighteen appearances (all but two as a sub) and scored zero goals. Stuart Kettlewell was so confident in him that he has since signed yet another forward, Moses Ebiye. Shaw has played six minutes of first team football since his return, with his main contribution being to miss a sitter that would have beaten Hibs and put the Steelmen in the top six.

2. PAPE HABIB GUEYE (ABERDEEN)

If someone other than Rangers and Celtic spends half a million quid on a striker, then he had better be good. Aberdeen splashed that sum on Gueye, who doesn't appear to be the next Han Gillhaus; heck, he's not even going to be the next Robbie Winters (you're showing your age now - Ed). Robson trusted him to start only one match (a Conference League game where he was hooked at half time). In his six other games, all sub appearances, the Dons failed to score a goal with him on the pitch. Gueye was loaned to Norwegian club Kristansund in January, and he scored his first league goal for them last weekend. It remains to be seen if his Aberdeen career will be salvageable under Jimmy Thelin.

1. SAM LAMMERS (RANGERS)

Lammers has been a goal machine in recent weeks...for Utrecht, who he joined on loan in January. The Dutchman has claimed his miserable spell and lack of goals at Rangers was down to being played as a number ten rather than as a striker. That doesn't really explain the fact that he had plenty of goalscoring opportunities in games and consistently failed to take them. Two goals in thirty-one games is some return for a £3.5m striker. Rangers can only hope that his Utrecht form cons someone into paying them a decent fee to take him off their hands.

A worthy victor indeed.

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.

Worst signings of the 2023/24 Premiership season (part 1)

Ah, it's that time of year again. I don't have much time for blogging these days, but I will always try and make an exception for this.

The eleven previous 'winners' of our Worst Signing award:

2012/13: Rory Boulding (Kilmarnock)

2013/14: Stephane Bahoken (St. Mirren)

2014/15: Jim Fenlon (Ross County)

2015/16: Rodney Sneijder (Dundee United)

2016/17: Joey Barton (Rangers)

2017/18: Eduardo Herrera (Rangers)

2018/19: Umar Sadiq (Rangers)

2019/20: Madis Vihmann (St. Johnstone)

2020/21: Shane Duffy (Celtic)

2021/22: Matty Longstaff (Aberdeen)

2022/23: Anthony Stewart (Aberdeen)

Yes, Mark Birighitti should have won last year, not least because if one of those eleven was a keeper then we could have had a proper starting XI of crap.

So as is tradition, the list is split in two. This is the appetiser, if you like; a countdown of the players I ranked from 11 to 25. The main course is still to come, but folk will at least be able to work out the ten names based on who hasn't been mentioned so far.

Given they have stunk up the place this season, I am surprised as anyone by the lack of Livingston players. Seems like they just signed an awful lot of 'not very good' rather than 'awful beyond belief' but I'm happy to be corrected on this...

Enjoy!

25= OWEN BEVAN (HIBERNIAN), MARCEL LEWIS (DUNDEE)

Hooray for loan players who never actually play! Bevan's move from Bournemouth to Hibs lasted about 30 seconds before it was cancelled due to aggravation of an existing injury. Lewis, meanwhile, remained at Dundee for the entire first half of the season without playing a single competitive first team game. He did however get a run out in Cammy Kerr's testimonial where after 70 minutes he was replaced (kind of) by Ivano Bonetti...

24. JILI BUYABU (MOTHERWELL)

Signed on loan from Sheffield United on deadline day at the end of the winter window. Played 33 minutes as a sub in the defeat to Morton in the cup. Left 20 days after signing for 'personal reasons'. Maybe one day he can come back, possibly in a coaching role?

23. APHELELE TETO (LIVINGSTON)

Is Teto still a Livingston player? Heck, was he ever a Livingston player? The young South African midfielder was signed even though he was denied a work permit, because it was thought he'd be eligible for one once he'd been called up for the next international U-23 squad. The only problem was that South Africa U-23s haven't played since March 2023 and don't have any fixtures scheduled...in the meantime the club announced a plan for him to go out on loan, which never happened, and by January he had to return to South Africa as his visa had expired. The plot thickens still further, as he has three years left on his contract but Livi claim that his wages are paid by his former club TS Galaxy. No, I have no idea why that would be the case either.

22. SCOTT HIGH (ROSS COUNTY)

A former Scotland under-21 international (no, I'd not heard of him either) the 22 year old Huddersfield loanee managed 24 minutes of first team action across two sub appearances for County before returning south in January, meaning that he played more first team minutes for his parent club this season (45 in the English League Cup). High has subsequently moved to Dundalk where he is doing rather better.

21. DARA COSTELLOE (ST. JOHNSTONE)

Costelloe has done rather better after he switched loan clubs from St. Johnstone to Dundee in January, but Saints fans are unanimous in their derision for his performances in the first half of the season. Costelloe notched up as many red cards as goals for St. Johnstone. Charlie Adam, who is Burnley's loan manager, insisted in October that Costelloe was "loving it" in Perth; Costelloe later admitted it reached the point that he received 'hate mail' from supporters.

20. CALLAN ELLIOT (MOTHERWELL)

The 24 year old New Zealand international signed in January after ten months without a club; Stuart Kettlewell boasted that he could "add a lot to the team". So far that consists of five occasions as an unused substitute. Still, I like the picture there that the club used to announce his arrival, which has massive 'cover of former nineties boyband member's debut single' vibes.

19. SAM MCCLELLAND (ST. JOHNSTONE)

McClelland seems to have improved Dundee United's defence since moving there on loan, but it seems unlikely that he has a future at McDiarmid Park. The Northern Irishman was one of a number of Steven MacLean signings who were quickly sidelined by Craig Levein. The Saints were winless in his seven appearances for them and his last Premiership game was at the end of September.

18. KEVIN VAN VEEN (KILMARNOCK)

Van Veen's incredible 2022-23 season for Motherwell feels like it was a long time ago now. The veteran Dutch striker had lots of loan suitors in January but chose Kilmarnock where a combination of the excellent form of Kyle Vassell and Marley Watkins and some lacklustre showings off the bench have meant nothing but sub appearances (apart from a single cup start). Maybe he just needs a run of games, but he's not done enough to deserve it. And one suspects Killie are paying a decent proportion of a decent wage. Van Veen also gets marked down for his squad number; '99' is an ice cream with a flake, not a number on a football shirt, and no-one will ever convince me otherwise.

17. JAY TURNER-COOKE (ST. JOHNSTONE)

Turner-Cooke's season-long loan from Newcastle was cut short in January after just six appearances, ostensibly because of a hernia. However he'd barely played since Craig Levein became manager and has not been missed. The club's record whilst he was on the pitch? Scored zero, conceded six.

16. ANDREW DALLAS (KILMARNOCK)

Kilmarnock are lucky that Kyle Vassell and Marley Watkins have stayed fit as well as in form all season. Dallas came off the bench fifteen times and scored zero goals before returning to parent club Barnsley in January. He spent the second half of the season on loan at Oldham, where he hasn't scored either. Curiously, there is an ongoing EFL investigation into the paperwork (at Barnsley's end) regarding the loan move to Killie.

15. MARCO TILIO (CELTIC)

Celtic fancy that they can afford seven figure sums on 'developmental players' - see also Kwon Hyeok-kyu - but they really can't. A £1.5m winger needs to be challenging for first team action from the get-go, but Tilio - whose fee was the highest ever for an A-League player - was so far away from that level that he was loaned back to Melbourne City in the January transfer window. His manager in Oz claimed Tilio "hadn't had much fun at Celtic". I imagine the feeling is mutual. The Australian's two sub appearances may ultimately be his only ones for the club.

14. CAMERON BORTHWICK-JACKSON (ROSS COUNTY)

It's less than eight years since a teenage Borthwick-Jackson was starting games for Manchester United in the Premier League. The left-back said he moved on loan to Dingwall from Slask Wroclaw because he "felt wanted" by them; that feeling won't have lasted long, as Borthwick-Jackson's only four starts came in his first four games at the club and he's been stuck on the bench ever since a 5-0 pasting at Motherwell ended Derek Adams' tenure..

13. MICHAEL NOTTINGHAM (LIVINGSTON)

Unlike most names on this list, Nottingham has been a first choice for his club this season when fit, but Livi fans are unanimous in their derision for his performances, to the point that I feared a lynching if I didn't put him on this list. The 34 year old was supposed to add experience and leadership to the defence but instead has been one of the factors in their slide towards the Championship.

12. OR DADIA (ABERDEEN)

Nine months before signing for Aberdeen, Dadia made his international debut for Israel, meaning that he has played once more for his country than he ever did for the Dons. Dadia rarely made the bench unless it was a Conference League game where each team is allowed a million subs and even when Nicky Devlin wasn't playing he still couldn't get in the team. Terminating his loan in January was a blessing for everyone. And as for that moustache in his signing photo...I can't get the thought of him saying "I have come to fix ze fridge" in a Dutch accent out of my head.

11. MAIK NAWROCKI (CELTIC)

Nawrocki avoids the top ten on the grounds that there still seems to be a small chance that his Celtic career can be salvaged. He's also had ongoing issues with a hamstring injury and hasn't completed 90 minutes since August. Nevertheless, one would have expected a £4m centre-back to start more than six league games (at the time of writing) and certainly not to be left out at times in favour of Liam Scales and Stephen Welsh. 

The top ten will be up in the coming days...

Lawrie Spence has whinged about Scottish football on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007. He has a life outside this blog. Honestly.