Hmm, it turns out that Manchester City really could sign Adebayor and Terry after all. And it's not in Football Manager 2009 when both players are 40, much crapper and "want a new challenge". It's right here, right now.
Okay, it would take a brave person to rank those two, plus Tevez, Santa Cruz and Robinho, with the proper galacticos at Real Madrid. But after the farce of Man City's January move for Kaka', it is a pleasant surprise to know that, unlike the Weapons of Mass Destruction dossier, this wasn't just taking the piss.
And, of course, we all know how well the original Galactico Project went. Florentino Perez often repeats his claims about the merchandising income and so on. But on the pitch it was about as successful as my attempts to chat up a (very drunk) French teacher the other week. Casanova I was not. And glorious Real Madrid were not. From Zidane's heaven-blessed volley in the 2002 Champions' League final to his departure in 2006, Real won the grand total of one La Liga title - in 2003 - and f. all else. And it did not require a masters degree in rocket science to see why.
Anyone who saw the Zidane-Beckham-etc Real Madrid at their best would testament to their brilliance; I recall one 4-1 win over Valencia in about 2003 which could have been set to music, where Zizou scored two and Real were so dominant that they were showboating when it was only 2-1. But two elements contrived to stop them sweeping all before them. One was a defence which was utterly, utterly crap, not least because of the lack of any defensive midfielders to protect them. It's now well documented that the decline of that team began when Claude Makelele left for Chelsea. So when you have a centre back pairing of Ivan Helguera (who was world class in 2001 and suddenly not world class at all after that) and some random guy from the youth set up - except on the rare occasions when Jonathan Woodgate was fit - which is protected by a centre midfield duo of David Beckham and Guti, you are more vulnerable than a 5ft 4in man weighing 7 stone who has just dropped the soap in a prison shower block.
The other one was the complete lack of grit when the going got tough. The infamous 2005 clasico comes to mind here, where Ronaldinho reached his peak with two glorious goals at the Bernabeu in a 3-0 win, and where the Madridistas gave him an ovation after the second, and there was stunned silence in the Butchers Arms pub in Aberdeen before everyone looked at each other and muttered "he can't have just done that again, can he?!" But Barca destroyed Madrid that day because the stars (with the exception of Beckham, a man who can never be faulted for his work rate) simply wouldn't get stuck in. The stars just didn't have the motivation to do the dirty work in the difficult times. Yet we can recall the heroics of Zidane and Ronaldo at consecutive world cups, previous seasons when Roberto Carlos was inexorable, when Figo tied Europe's greatest full backs in knots, Raul when he was probably the best striker in the world. But in that Real Madrid team, these players never even got close to these heights.
And don't forget just how good Iker Casillas is. It's not unreasonable to think that his brilliance in goal has hidden just how dodgy that Real Madrid team was.
So, anyway, Real are at it again - stockpiling world class attackers with Kaka', Ronaldo and Benzema joining the likes of Robben, Van Nistelrooy and Huntelaar. And Man City are doing the same; how do you fit Santa Cruz, Adebayor, Tevez, Robinho and Bellamy all into your team? And while Real have bought a solid centre back in Raul Albiol, and City want John Terry, well, that Real team had Helguera, whom many ranked up with the best, and in reality he was just rank.
As I have said repeatedly, the 2009 Barcelona Dream Team had a bunch of hungry young players who hadn't achieved anything much, plus a good solid defence. That is the model to follow. The Mark I Galacticos failed miserably on the pitch. Expect the Mark II Galacticos, and their Eastlands equivalent, to follow suit.
L.
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