Respect for refs? How about they earn it?

So Gordon Smith caused a bit of a broo-ha-ha this week by claiming that referees are being unfairly treated. His defence of the men in black (if they wore black suits and sunglasses and shot aliens then I suspect they would just defend themselves!) came on the back of Craig Thomson's decision on Saturday to play on while Motherwell's David Clarkson was down with a head knock, leading to a Hearts goal. Clarkson later got subbed because of the injury. This is the latest in a succession of moans about referees, from St. Mirren's long running feud with Alan Freeland, to Gordon Strachan's touchline ban, to Craig Levein's general moaning about every ref in sight (but especially Dougie MacDonald). Of course, don't forget that there is barely an SPL game that doesn't finish with the referee being booed off the park, nor one in which the number of players mouthing off constantly at decisions is below double figures.

The trouble, I'm afraid, is that in Scotland right now the standard of refereeing is shocking.

There are a handful of them whose names, when read out on the tannoy at Caley Stadium, do not fill me with a sense of dread akin to that produced by the phrase "President George Bush". These include Kenny Clark, Stuart Dougal, and in fact, Thomson. But the others are so bad that you can actually tell how they will referee the game in advance. Calum Murray, for example, won't take out a card for anything in the first 20 minutes, and so you end up with Martin Taylor-esque tackles flying all over the place and a total loss of control. Eddie Smith, meanwhile, is whistle-happy (hence the soft free kick that Celtic got for the winner at Love Street last Saturday), will level up the penalties if he gives a soft one, and will bottle any major penalty or red card decision late in the game. Alan Freeland is the exception to the rule. Goodness knows what match he's watching, but it's never the one he's refereeing. It's like he's on a different universe, or that his brain is actually displaying pictures picked up from that Polish satellite broadcasting EPL games on Saturdays that can't legally be shown here.

Honestly, I'm not claiming they're crooked (not like the guy who sits beside me at Caley, who yells "Central belt bias" at every game, even after our slightly fortunate win over Celtic in December). Over the course of the season, I do believe that mistakes tend to mostly even out. But even if that is the case, it's not good enough; it's like saying "We accidentally charged you too much tax last month and too little this month, but you've ended up with the same anyway". But on the pitch, one dodgy penalty can turn 1pt into 3, while on another day it can turn 0pts into 1, and vice versa.

Am I being too harsh? Probably. I suppose the dozens of TV cameras at football matches (well, two - this is Setanta, after all) glaringly highlight all refereeing mistakes. But there are two things that are quite reasonably demanded by footballers, managers and fans - consistency and control. And how often do we get them? It's about as common as seeing Halley's Comet, or so it feels.

The answer? Well, they're only human, and all that. But there are refs out there like Pierluigi Collina, and now, in England, Howard Webb, who do make mistakes (and occasionally high-profile ones), yet escape almost any criticism. Why? Because they were always consistent with decisions, and they always had control of the games they were in charge of. So boys, how about giving all two footed challenges either a straight red or just a ticking off, rather than mixing and matching? And for the love of goodness, if a player appeals for a penalty and you think he hasn't been fouled, and the defender hasn't touched the ball, then it's b***** simulation and book him, for the love of criminy...

L.