Worst signings of the Premiership season (part 1)

I like to think that, since this is the third straight season I've done this, I can now call it 'annual'.  The two previous 'winners'?  In 2012/13, it was Kilmarnock legend Rory Boulding (who, a week later, scored the goal that put Dundee United in the top six).  In 2013/14 St. Mirren's Stephane Bahoken, who was so loved that neither the Buddies nor his parent club Nice wanted him, topped the list.

So, like last year, I've listed 25 duds, and I'll start by counting down to number 11.  I've have ranked players using the incredibly scientific 'whim-o-meter', which means that I put them roughly where I felt like putting them when I composed this.

One learning point from this - just like last year, some clubs are represented far more than others - which tells you something about the success of their transfer polices.

The top ten will be published in a couple of days.

25. Arvid Schenk (Dundee)

Harsh perhaps, given that the German was signed as injury cover and only played one match.  Unfortunately, that was the New Year derby where he conceded six as Dundee United ran riot.  Regular first choice Scott Bain was actually given painkilling injections so he could play the next game instead.  Unsurprisingly, Schenk wasn't kept on past the end of his short term deal.  Oh, and he looked like Milo from '24' - which is not a flattering comparison.

24. Lee Lynch (Hamilton Accies)

Who?  Exactly.  I couldn't even find a photograph of him in a Hamilton strip.  A former Irish under-17 international and graduate of the Glenn Hoddle Academy, 23 year old Lynch signed for Accies in January from Limerick with little fanfare.  An unused sub on a couple of occasions, he lasted 3 months of his 18 month deal before being released this week.  That went well.

23. Darvydas Sernas (Ross County)

The Lithuanian international, who joined from a Polish second division team, was one of a ton of desperate signings at the end of the January transfer window by Jim McIntyre, and to be fair one of the reasons why he hasn't seen much action is the success of some of the others brought in.  But why the 30 year old, whose last cap was two years ago, was deemed necessary at all is not clear.  At the time of writing he's played just 33 minutes of first team football, and it's unlikely he will manage many more.

22. Danny Seaborne (Partick Thistle)

It's perhaps a surprise that I've singled out a guy who has started more than half of Partick's league games, but Jags fans are not complimentary of the centre back, who signed from Coventry last summer.  His positional sense has been poor, he's been guilty of several errors, and hasn't been able to form a decent partnership with either Conrad Balatoni or Frederic Frans...so it's no surprise that those two are now Alan Archibald's first choices.  A real let-down.

21. Ross Caldwell (St. Mirren)

Terry Butcher didn't even consider Caldwell good enough for a contract at Hibs in the Championship, yet Tommy Craig fancied he could do a job in Paisley.  He did manage a double in a League Cup tie against Dunfermline, but fired a blank in fourteen other games.  Gary Teale let him go in January, and he's found his level in League One at Greenock Morton.

20. Nico Sumsky (Hamilton Accies)

A bizarre signing by a club who prides itself on its academy - a 21 year old Czech who, it appears, is nowhere near ready for the first team.  His resume looks impressive - spells in his youth at Monaco, River Plate and Parma - but he's managed just one sub appearance so far.  Whilst he's under contract till Christmas, it's likely we'll not see him in an Accies shirt again.  And what is the deal with that hat and jacket?!

19. Ibra Sekajja (Inverness CT)

Sekajja was apparently once the next big thing at Crystal Palace, but was signed by Caley Thistle as a backup striker after a trial period.  To be fair, he saw very little first team action, but though he was willing, he was clearly carrying a few extra pounds.  Oh, and he looked hopeless, even in the reserve team.  Let go in January, he signed for Livingston, where he is getting a regular game and scored for them at Ibrox recently.

18. Darren Barr (Ross County)

That Barr broke down with injury after only a few games really shouldn't have come as a surprise to Ross County; only once in the last five seasons has he managed to play more than fifteen times.  He wrecked his cruciate ligament in October and so has been taking up a wage in Dingwall without playing for most of the season.  Given their predicament at the time, perhaps they felt it was a risk worth taking.  Sadly, one wonders if Barr, who won a Scotland cap in 2008 whilst an exciting prospect at Falkirk, will ever be a Premiership-standard player again.

17. Nathan Eccleston (Partick Thistle)

Eccleston is on this list because of his hopeless spell at Partick, where he could never break into a team that was crying out for a half-decent striker.  Mostly used on the wing as a late sub, the former Liverpool youth, who Blackpool actually paid a fee for in 2012, never managed to hit the net.  He signed off his time at Firhill with a tweet suggesting he was pleased to be leaving.  However, Kilmarnock have subsequently taken a chance on him and he's impressed in his more natural central role, scoring against Inverness.  I wonder if Alan Archibald missed a trick here?

16. Henri Anier (Dundee United)

Maybe a little harsh of me to put Anier on this list?  Well, the Estonian might have shone at Motherwell last season, but he's looked a shadow of that player since joining United from Ergebirge Aue in January.  The workrate is still there, but the confidence is shot at the moment, as is evident from the series of sitters he has missed.  After the loss of Stuart Armstrong and Gary Mackay-Steven, United badly needed him to give them more strengh in attack.  Maybe he'll be better next season.  Jackie McNamara will be hoping so, since he was given a contract till 2017.

15. Callum Ball (St. Mirren)

With Steven Thompson well past it, St. Mirren clearly had hopes that the 6ft 3in striker, let go from Derby's youth system, could be his long-term replacement.  Appropriately, he resembles a big wrecking ball in style, but unfortunately St. Mirren can't attach him to a chain and use a crane to swing him at opposing defenders.  Ball has looked slow and ponderous all season, and it tells you something that, even though he's slimmed a fair bit over the course of the season, he still looks like he needs to diet.  He's managed only two goals, both in September, hasn't started a match since November, and hasn't played at all since January.  Another Tommy Craig triumph.

14. Mark O'Brien (Motherwell)

This youngster signed on loan from the English Championship by Stuart McCall has been so impressive that Ian Baraclough went out and signed an even younger player on loan from the English Championship (Louis Laing) to play ahead of him.  The decision to extend O'Brien's loan from January to the end of the season was a strange one.  With him in the side, Motherwell conceded an average of more than two goals a game.

13. Lucas (Hamilton Accies)

Surely signed only because of his cool surname - but 'Tagliapetra' doesn't fit on the back of a shirt.  What actually possessed Martin Canning to sign a Brazilian defender who spent the last four seasons in Hong Kong and Moldova is unclear.  Given Accies are shipping goals left, right and centre, it is telling that, so far, they've been sufficiently confident in him to give him seven minutes of first team action.

12. Paul Cairney (Kilmarnock)

I'm mildly surprised that I hadn't put Cairney on a previous list after his awful spell at Hibs.  He's been little better since joining Kilmarnock, and one hopes that his 'two year deal' has a get-out clause in it for the club.  He's finally starting to make occasional appearances from the bench, but only because of several injuries at the club.  He hasn't made a single start this season.  And he still looks beefy.  It's three years now since the Cairney who lit up the second tier with Partick was last seen - is he gone for good?

11. Yoann Arquin (St. Mirren)

Had shown - intermittently - at Ross County that he could play as a lone striker, providing a decent amount of running and the occasional goal.  But by the end of his time in Dingwall his performance level had dipped and it was no secret that he was unhappy.  St. Mirren, desperate for a striker, took a shot at him...and insisted on playing him in a 4-4-2 which didn't suit his talents.  Amusingly, he was sent off after 37 minutes of his debut - against Ross County.  Though that red was rescinded, he quickly got another one a week later against Dundee.  He still hasn't scored, and Gary Teale now prefers using the ancient and immobile Steven Thompson up front.


Lawrie Spence (LS) has ranted and spouted his ill-informed opinions on Narey's Toepoker since September 2007.  He has a life outside this blog.  Honestly.