Friday, November 5, 2010

Celtic conspiracy theories now beyond tiresome

Celtic striker Gary Hooper ought to try being a player or supporter for a smaller club than his current employer. "Everyone wants to beat us and maybe the referee wants to give decisions against Celtic so that they can tell someone that they gave a bad decision against one of the biggest clubs in the world" he told the press this week.

What. A. Muppet.

I am utterly, utterly bored of the whole refereeing fiasco going on in the SPL right now. I'd be lying if I said I was completely aware of all the facts; I know Dougie McDonald awarded a penalty for Celtic at Tannadice, then changed his mind after a chat with his linesman (I never saw the incident, but have been informed by several folk that the final decision was the correct one). Then he and his linesman blamed each other in the press, the linesman quit, and McDonald is apparently a liar. And so he is refereeing at Ross County tomorrow, which seems a pretty harsh punishment if you ask me. Dingwall in November? Ouch. If anyone would like to explain the finer detail of it all, I would be happy to feign interest for a few minutes, but to be honest I don't care.

But if one more moronic, paranoid Celtic player, coach or fan claims there is a conspiracy against their side, who have won "only" six titles in the last decade and "only" four Scottish Cups in that period, I swear I can't be responsible for my own actions. Yes, Kirk Broadfoot dived and won a penalty in the Old Firm game (I note several newspapers chose to describe it as "dubious", rather than as what it was, an act of cheating). But for the love of Pete, take the blinkers and the green-and-white-tinted spectacles off. No-one from Celtic was mentioning the shocking tackle that should have got Anthony Stokes a straight red after 75 seconds. No-one was mentioning the fact that Rangers were cruising to victory even before the penalty decision. No-one was mentioning that Lennon was completely outwitted tactically by Walter Smith (though that wnet without saying, I guess). Who's biased now?

As for the idea that referees give decisions against the big teams - well, you have got to be flipping joking. Paolo Di Canio once said "The only way you can get a penalty at Old Trafford is if Jaap Stam takes out a machine gun and shoots you, and even then they will say you were outside the box". Fans of other Scottish teams (yes, Mr Hooper, teams other than Rangers and Celtic exist) will vouch for a similar policy when visiting Glasgow. Remember Mike McCurry screwing over Dundee United at Ibrox a few years ago - disallowing a goal for offside because someone 30 yards from goal was "interfering with play", and turning down the most stonewall penalty (possibly because the dismissal of David Weir would have been necessary)? What about ICT's first league clash against Celtic in 2004, where Mr "honesty" Lennon himself pretended to have been elbowed to get Inverness forward Juanjo sent off by a certain Dougie McDonald?

As is increasingly the case in Scotland, and England, and everywhere else, managers and players are trying to deflect the blame for their own mistakes and inadequacies onto officials - because it's harder for them to talk back. Once for all, let it be made clear; football officials do not give dodgy, bizarre decisions as part of a bizarre (freemason, if you listen to some Celtic fans) conspiracy or plot. They give these decisions because they have a poor view, or because it happens quickly, or because players cheat, or because they are under pressure from partisan crowds, or because they are just rubbish referees.

So, Celtic, get over it, for goodness sake - how many more officials have to get death threats and windows smashed before you shut up and show some dignity, huh?

L.

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