"The results business"

Last weekend, I basked in the glorious seven goal thriller that Aberdeen nicked from Caley up in Inverness. Caley's previous four home games had produced only a total of six goals, and the only way those games could have been less exciting would be if the half-time entertainment consisted of watching some paint dry.

Yes, I know, we lost again. However, Caley have been so guff recently that I'm largely sensitized to that now. I'd proudly claimed, before the match, that I'd rather we lost 4-3 than draw 0-0, and to be frank, I stand by that claim. I don't care if we grind out a point; if I'm driving all the way along the A96 (which has been a rather more exciting experience than the recent matches) and back, then I want to be entertained.

And so, following the customary waffling, I move on to my main point; viz a viz (always wanted to use that in a blog post), dull football. A game like Caley-Aberdeen ought to have been exciting - Caley have no reason to be cagey or defensive, while Aberdeen needed the win for their top six aspirations. But, before kickoff, I expected to see two 4-5-1 teams, with the attacking instincts of a koala bear. Because, throughout football, this happens too often now.

Too often, we hear managers talk about "the results business" to justify parking the bus in front of the goal and nicking a goalless draw. The potential financial castastrophe of being relegated, or missing out on a Champions' League place, or whatever, drives manager's tactics. They are afraid to lose. And the rules of the game (or at least, their interpretation) only benefit this philosophy - look at the penalty box during a corner and try to count how many defensive fouls are being committed at the same time. And count how many are penalized. Meanwhile, for all the "benefit of the doubt" chat, you rarely see a goal wrongly given when a player was offside, but lose count of the number of forwards wrongly flagged.

Now, maybe I'm in the minority here, but I watch football to be entertained. I want to see skill, I want to see chances, I want to see goals. Exciting nil-nil draws are like hen's teeth. Boring 4-3 games are as rare as seeing a teenage girl in Dundee without a pram. Remember the last world cup, and the last Euros? Too many teams afraid of losing. Germany bucked the trend; they played open, attacking football and were hailed for it, as well as forcing their way to the semi finals. I remember well that Greece won Euro 2004, but for all my usual hailing of the underdog, their style of football was so repugnant that it made me want to vomit copiously into a bucket. If that's what is required to win a football match, I'll read a book, thanks.

To cap it all, I hope David Pizarro of Roma feels like a bit of an idiot about slagging off Ronaldo in the press, for doing all those step overs and winding him up a bit. Please keep doing it, Cristiano, I thought it was fantastic and so did most of the world.

Why do attacking players win nearly all the big football awards? Because they are why the punters watch football. Who ever decided to go see Real Madrid because they have Casillas or Cannavaro? So for all you managers out there who decide boredom is the way to go, remember that if your team is fun to watch, fans will forgive you rather more when results don't go your way. I'm thinking of you, Avram Grant.

L.