Sunday, May 15, 2011

Accies and St Mirren - the best argument yet for two up, two down

It sticks in the craw a bit to know that when Caley Thistle were relegated two years ago, and my mum reduced to tears, that our total of 37 points would have been enough to finish tenth this season.

St. Mirren came up to Inverness on boxing day, when we were riding high in fourth, with our last three results having been draws with Celtic, Rangers and Hearts. That success had clearly gone to our heads - the Buddies came up north and outfought and outscrapped us, returning down the A9 with a 2-1 win.

I can't help feeling that we were unlucky to be on the end of that particular St. Mirren performance. Danny Lennon's side didn't win again till the beginning of April, when they beat Hamilton 3-1; even then, they nearly managed to blow the twelve point cushion they had over Accies with a set of abysmal results, so that when they returned to the Highlands the weekend before last they still weren't safe. This time, the elan was sorely missing, and even when Caley had a player sent off they still looked more toothless than a man with scurvy, gingivitis and a penchant for chewing diamonds as they lost 1-0. Thankfully for them, they nicked a win at Pittodrie in their penultimate game in order to stay up.

No team has finished with fewer points and avoided relegation since the SPL expanded to twelve teams in 2000. That's how bad Hamilton have been.

The table doesn't lie. Hamilton didn't win a league game at their own New Douglas Park (would you believe their old ground was called 'Douglas Park'? Original, creative name for the new ground there) until their penultimate match there. Three of their five league victories came in the last month of the season. I'd tipped Billy Reid's side for the drop for both their first two seasons in the top flight, and been left with some egg on my face both times; this year, I predicted they'd come ninth.

What went wrong this time? Well, when they came up in 2008, they could boast James McCarthy (now at Wigan and an Ireland international), James McArthur (now at Wigan and a Scotland international) and Brian Easton (now at Burnley). These three have never been replaced. To cap it all, Reid lost captain and influential midfielder Alex Neil for the season, and another experienced player, Simon Mensing, for a month for taking an illegal dietary supplement.

In previous years, he managed to mould together some gritty veterans with some enterprising young players to make a solid team; this year, his team were, basically, a bit rubbish. No, actually, they were very, very rubbish indeed. They were to the SPL what Hayden Christiansen is to Star Wars - not only were they boring, flat and hopeless, they did their level best to ruin it for everyone else; I can remember seeing them take the ball to the corner flag once to run out the clock on a 1-0 lead...with 15 minutes left. Their keeper, Tomas Cerny, must be the slowest goal kick taker ever...though Hamilton fans maintain that he is just as slow when they are losing as when they are winning.

Billy Reid's one hope is that the youngsters he has blooded this season are up to the task of battling out of division one; he at least has held on to the likes of Neil and Mensing, who should stand out in that league. But it's one heck of a division to get out of...

And as for St. Mirren, they have survived on a shoestring, yet are set to cut their budget even further this summer. Lennon got the job because of what he accomplished with no money at Cowdenbeath, and because he convinced the board he could find quality players in the lower leagues, a claim backed up only by the outstanding Darren McGregor. Whilst the arrival in the top flight of striker Gareth Wardlaw, a postman given his first full-time contract at age 30, seemed romantic, it was also a bit of a waste of a wage. Yet, unless talk of a "community takeover" finally comes to something, Lennon will have to do much more with even less next season. Unless he comes up with a miracle, or his club come up with some cash, the Buddies are overwhelming relegation favourites.

But I said that about Kilmarnock this time last year as well...

ST. MIRREN
League: 11th, 33pts
League Cup: 2nd round
Scottish Cup: quarter final

Star man: striker Michael Higdon got into double figures for goals despite being in a team which carried less offensive threat than a blind hedgehog trapped in a paper bag.
Waste of space: Lennon persisted with on-loan Celtic forward Paul McGowan all season - his crowning achievements were one league goal, an appearance similar to the neds on 'Chewing The Fat' and a threat to a critical Caley fan a fortnight ago to "see me outside after the game".

Confirmed first team departures: Garry Brady, Patrick Cregg, Craig Dargo, Nick Hegarty, Sean Lynch, Jamie McCluskey, John Potter, Gareth Wardlaw
Other likely departures: Michael Higdon, Paul McGowan
Needs for next season: Some good wide players. If Higdon goes, an entirely new forward line as well.

HAMILTON ACCIES
League: 12th, 26pts
League Cup: 2nd round
Scottish Cup: 5th round

Star man: On balance, probably midfielder Dougie Imrie, who has at least been energetic; he is likely to sign for St Johnstone.
Waste of space: I believe Hamilton paid a five-figure fee to Dundee Utd in August for Argentine striker Damian Casalinuovo, who was let go before the end of the season having scored a grand total of zero goals.

Confirmed first team departures: David Buchanan, Mark Carrington, Damian Casalinuovo, David Elebert, Tom Elliott, Grant Evans, Flavio Paixao, James Gibson, Andy Graham, Marco Paixao, Gary McDonald, Sean Murdoch, Gavin Skelton, Aaron Wildig
Other likely departures: Dougie Imrie
Needs for next season: Depends on how good these youngsters are. Several of the squad might actually have found their level following relegation.

L.

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