The physics of free-kicks

Apparently some French physicians have proven, following much study (and, I bet, a bit of expense too) that Roberto Carlos' stonking free kick at La Tournoi, thirteen heady years ago, did not, in fact, defy the laws of physics.



Forgive me, but I assumed that the whole point of having laws of physics is that, by definition, they cannot be defied? Does that mean that, had these scientists - who clearly have far too much time on their hands - been unable to work out how he scored, that all the life's work of Albert Einstein and Isaac Newton, amongst others, would have been utterly disproved?

Actually, considering the arguments used to claim that the evidence for evolution is spurious - the "so-called missing links" - I can foresee a future pro-God, anti-Science argument along the lines of "You haven't proved how Roberto Carlos made the ball swerve like that, so therefore the goal must be divine intervention". In which case, you'd think Kaka', well known as an evangelical Christian, would be far more capable in dead-ball situations. In fact, since he may not even manage a regular place in the Real Madrid team this season, does that mean that the will of Jose Mourinho is greater than the will of God? Sounds like the sort of thing The Special One would claim, anyway.

Equally, these physicists could have saved a lot of time and energy if they'd just come down to watch me play on a Monday evening; I've been a master of the Roberto Carlos-style shot from distance for several years. Of course, whilst the Brazilian aimed for the corner flag and scored, I tend to aim for the goal, only for the ball to hit the corner flag...but it's all the same, really. Isn't it?

Anyway, we can all sleep more soundly in our beds now we know that scientists have worked out the process by which even the most dramatic of free kicks is scored. But I'm sure I'm not the only one who will still lie awake in bed at night until they get the hang of penalties as well. After all, no-one has yet explained how John Carew managed to balloon that spot-kick at Newcastle a fortnight ago...or predict when and where the ball will eventually land...



L.